I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
