I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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