she woke up with a sticky ear
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
