why didn't you poke me back
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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