A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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