you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
