i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Barsexuality is the new black.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize