a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
