Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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