if you like me you must not know who I am
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
