You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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