Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
