So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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