All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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