By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
