Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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