she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
