careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
