and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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