i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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