Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
