Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
