Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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