ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
