I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
