I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
