dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
