Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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