I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
