I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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