Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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