my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
