Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize