he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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