Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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