so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
