i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
