dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
