She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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