Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
