Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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