think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I didn't notice because vodka
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
