I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
