I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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