Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
