ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize