Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
