i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
