i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize