these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
well you can't waste a boner
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
