i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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