jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
