My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
