Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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