You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
