My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
