She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
