Soap is not a condiment
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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