His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
