u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Say something about gay babies.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
