My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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