To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
