I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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