In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
