I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
