yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
